Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i just had sex bonerless
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize