I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
