I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
