need another drink. this is the easiest way
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
