I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm always down for nudity.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize