Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Never joke about your clitoris.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
