I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
