Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
