cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
