Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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