Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
