Midget sex pt 2 tonight
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
