I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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