So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
