so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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