i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
