It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize