is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
