She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
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