At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
