Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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