I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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