Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
