things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
