i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
