that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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