I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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