I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
