I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize