He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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