I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
