I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
