You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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