I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
