i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize