I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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