I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
