D3 body, D1 cock
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
