I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
