4 words: hood of his car
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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