It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
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