Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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