btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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