She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
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