omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
