my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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