Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
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I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
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So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I supernannyed him into submission
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize