she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize