She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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