She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Randomize
