I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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