For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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