Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
