So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Randomize
